Entertainment
The funnest family reunion ever is happening on Twitter right now
(Twitter)
Admit it: you make up excuses just to skip family reunions. As much as possible, you want to avoid stories about the silly stuff you did with your pinsans, or being asked questions pertaining to your love life. Just when you thought you’ve steered clear of your nosy relatives, they are now on Twitter to remind you how adorably annoying they can be.
First, there’s @TitasofManila, played by a bespectacled and pearl-necklaced (in short, tita-fied) Cynthia Villar. She likes wearing shawls, sending you pics of her beloved orchids, and semi-obsessing over the boy/girlfriend you do not have.
Kelan ka ba ikakasal? May boyfriend ka na ba?
— Titas of Manila (@TitasofManila) September 23, 2014
*removes glasses, stares into the void, strokes shawl, and ponders life* #ShitTitasDo — Titas of Manila (@TitasofManila) September 22, 2014
“*takes a picture with iPhone* (after 3 seconds) Ay video pala!”
— Titas of Manila (@TitasofManila) September 25, 2014
@Titos_Of_Manila is also present in the annual family reunion. Just like tita, tito keeps harping on about your (non-existent) boy/girlfriend, constantly asking questions about their work, or their educational attainment, or whether they have pure intentions for his beloved pamangkin. Tito also likes cars and Michael Learns to Rock.
*interrogates his niece’s new boyfriend* “Saan ka ba nagtapos hijo?” — Titos of Manila (@Titos_Of_Manila) September 24, 2014
*posts his newly cleaned Mitsubishi Adventure as his Facebook profile picture* — Titos of Manila (@Titos_Of_Manila) September 24, 2014
“Isalang mo nga ‘yung Michael Learns to Rock na VCD ko dyan.” — Titos of Manila (@Titos_Of_Manila) September 24, 2014
Tito’s brother @DadsOfManila is your Dad personified: making you laugh with his silly dance moves,and fussing over his favorite basketball team. He is very concerned about your well-being, constantly reminding you to sleep early, so that he can peacefully harvest his crops in FarmVille.
*dances to the radio while looking at you, waiting for you to laugh*
— Dads of Manila (@DadsOfManila) September 24, 2014
Nak, anong channel yung studio 23?
— Dads of Manila (@DadsOfManila) September 25, 2014
(watching basketball) If losing: “Ang bulok naman!” “Swapang! Pasa mo!” “Anak ng kamote, bobo!” Won the game: “Sabi ko na e!” — Dads of Manila (@DadsOfManila) September 25, 2014
Dad’s better half @MomsOfManila, played by no other than Pambansang Nanay Susan Africa, insists she’s a cool mom, not a regular mom, that is why she joined Twitter. (Another reason is she stalks your social media accounts.) Mom still remembers the members of That’s Entertainment. Yes, all five days, from the Monday to Friday groups. That said, you love her anyway, so much that you keep using her bath accessories.
Sinong gumamit ng loofah ko?! — Moms Of Manila (@MomsOfManila) September 25, 2014
Si @armimillare nagsisi nung hindi nakinig sakin. Kaya kids you know what to do! #mamaknowsbest — Moms Of Manila (@MomsOfManila) September 25, 2014
“Nak, let’s go to watsons.” *buys olay total effects & good housekeeping* “Ok anak, let’s go home.” — Moms Of Manila (@MomsOfManila) September 25, 2014
Your noble yaya @YayasOfManila, who has been taking care of you since you were in kindergarten is also on Twitter now, only a bit sassier. Just like Mom, she is still getting the hang of the latest trends in music and social media. Despite always turning your supposed crispy bacon into charred, burnt piece of meat, being of service to your family is more than enough reason for her to be a part of it.
“@krishanicolee: @YayasOfManila yaya can you open the door for me” wala ka na bang kamay ga?
— Yayas of Manila (@YayasOfManila) September 26, 2014
awayin niyo na ang lahat wag lang my alaga
— Yayas of Manila (@YayasOfManila) September 25, 2014
*befriends all the other yayas in school waiting area while waiting for alaga’s dismissal*
— Yayas of Manila (@YayasOfManila) September 25, 2014
With several other (actual) Humans, cats, and dogs of Manila making noise on the Internet, we can’t help but wonder who else isn’t on social media these days.
We bet someone is setting up The Church of Mystica Cassidy, Manila as you’re reading this.
And if you are thinking of making @ManilaConyos, @ManilaBasic, and @BekisOfManila, sorry, but these are already taken as well.