The saddest things Filipinos have done to get laid

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Science has proven what pop songs and movies have long been telling us: People really do crazy things for (carnal) love. About 20 out of seven times a week, tabloids come out with stories of people who are driven mad by their desire to—let’s put it bluntly here—get laid.

Sexual activity between two consenting adults is fine, but problems arise when one partner is forced by the other to submit to unwanted advances. In 2013, the number of reported Violence Against Women cases, including rape, threats, and spousal abuse, increased by almost 50 percent compared to the previous year. It should be noted though that regardless of age and gender, everyone is vulnerable to rape and sexual assault.

On the other hand, there are cases in which people devise ways to get laid, usually in exchange for money, such as auctioning their virginity online or making indecent proposals to strangers.

The following instances of desperation will make you feel a variety of things, among them pity, disgust, and a burning desire to have these people stopped once and for all.


Burned down a house

Speaking of burning desire, this man burned their house down when his pregnant partner refused to sleep with him because he refused to get rice from his grandmother. He fulfilled his threat of burning down their house if he didn’t get any sexytime. Now he’s homeless and probably wishing he just got the damn rice in the first place.


Stopped a war

Two warring villages in Mindanao brokered a peace agreement when the men’s better halves began a sex strike. The women refused to sleep with their husbands unless they surrendered their weapons and stopped fighting. Lesson learned: Make love, not war.


Committed murder

He wanted to end the two-month drought (maybe he has a spreadsheet, too?) but he killed her when she said no. It’s really, really simple, guys: NO MEANS NO.


Paid a huge amount of money

Actor and former Gwapings member Eric Fructuoso admitted in a Mo Twister interview that he had been propositioned by a “matrona” for PHP 50,000, the lowest amount he has ever been offered by people who want to sleep with him. He also said that a rich gay dude offered him a million bucks, but he refused that as well. That’s the price of entering showbiz, folks.


Extorted a student

This dude forced a student to pay him PHP 1,000 AND sleep with him twice a week, so that he wouldn’t release their alleged sex tape.


Pretended to be a man

Similar circumstances as the previous case, but in this one, the extortionist is a woman who pretended to be a man. The suspect and the victim apparently had cybersex, but Victim Annie was “surprised to find out that her supposed boyfriend and [Suspect] Callao was one and the same person.” If they had online sex, how could Annie not have known that her boyfriend is a she?


Hacked a Facebook account 

This desperate dude, on the other hand, resorted to hacking and password-stealing in the hope of getting some.


Took their own life

Two instances, similar endings. They have fun, they fight, they make up. The man hopes for reconciliation sex, fails to get it, and then offs himself.

But really, what’s disturbing about these two stories is how much the reports simplify suicide. Reason for taking own life? Was refused sex. It’s never that simple.


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