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10 underrated nuisance candidates from last week’s filing of COCs
Before the official campaign season starts, the certificate of candidacy (COC) filing is like a pre-election red carpet event. A total of 125 presidential hopefuls, 13 soon-to-be-vice-presidents, and 128 senatoriables filed their COCs at the Palacio del Gobernador last week.
Okay, here’s the truth: We’re tired of hearing about trapos running things in our country. So whenever a simple housewife or a “disillusioned nobody” files a COC for presidency, just to shake things up, our interest is piqued.
That’s why every October at the Commission on Elections (COMELEC) office, a year before the official elections, the filing of COCs is the most awaited event not only for politicians but for ordinary folks who dare to break the status quo.
As long as you’re a (a) natural born citizen of the Philippines, (b) a registered voter, (c) able to read and write, (d) at least 40 years of age on the day of election, and (e) resident of the Philippines for at least 10 years immediately preceding the election, then you could run as the next president of the Republic of the Philippines.
Democracy or mockery?
Farmers, housewives, fashion designers, and even to a 19-year-old college student filed COCs this year. Despite being mocked and laughed at, they all walked out happily with COCs in their hands.
Under 1987 Article II, Section 26 of the Constitution, a nuisance candidate is defined as someone who files their COC “to put the election process in mockery…or cause confusion among the voters by the similarity of the names of registered candidates…which clearly demonstrate that the candidate has no bona fide intention to run for office.”
But according to COMELEC spokesperson James Jimenez, who has been listening to speeches of nuisance candidates for more than 11 years, this is democracy, not mockery.
“The system is built so that no matter who files, only the really serious ones are able to actually compete. This is democracy in action, my friend. This is everyone having the right to be voted for, trying to get that right exercised,” Jimenez said.
When asked if there is a possibility that a no-namer would be elected as president, Jimenez exclaimed “That should be the case!” three times.
“In a democracy, everyone can be the next president. Doesn’t matter if you have no name, no money. All that matters is that you have ideas, you have thoughts, and you’re able to lead and inspire the people,” he said.
So as we laugh at the likes of Sel Hope Kang, a 37-year-old housewife who graduated cum laude from the University of the Philippines, and Allan Carreon, a self-confessed Intergalactic Earth Ambassador, we’re actually the ones mocking our own democracy for calling them disillusioned nobodies.
Who knows, maybe this time, the elections would be in these ordinary folks’ favor. You decide.
Businesswoman wants to revamp Philippine logo
Name: Erenia Irene Romillos
Position running for: President
Occupation: Businesswoman
Platform: New Heart Philippines
If elected, she will revamp the Philippine logo with symbols of the sun, heart, and moon. The sun, heart, and moon logo is said to be inspired by the star in the Vietnamese flag and the “horse” in Bahrain’s flag. (Truth be told, there is no “horse” in Bahrain’s flag.)
Party: Independent
Running-mate: “Kung sino ang i-will ni Lord”
Priority programs:
- “Malalaman din natin ‘yun, saka na lang ‘yun.”
- Military, army, police, teachers, doctors, street sweepers, and youth ID (or as she calls it, “young ID”)
Source of confidence: “Secret! Si Lord!”
Reason for running: “Ito, in the memorable word of God, is the highest 43, it’s everyone’s attitude and the treasure in the world,” she said. We don’t know what she means by the “highest 43.”
Three-time heaven pilgrim vows to make PH a paradise
Name: Salvadora Thelma Negrosa
Position running for: President
Occupation/Credentials: Rizalian Catholic (RC) devotee; the bona fide form of Pagkabuhay ni Senyor Jesus Nazareno. “Nagmula na ‘ko sa langit, tatlong beses na.”
Platform: To make the Philippines a paradise and to stop elections in the country.
- “Ang gusto ko talaga maging paraiso ang Pilipinas dahil pag-aari ito ni Jose Rizal, ang inyong ama. Siya ang engkanto ng Diyos.
- “Ang sinasabi ni Ama, stop election, kasi magkakapatid kayong lahat. I will shake the world.”
- To make a 144,000-strong Filipino army that will invade the world.
Party: Independent
Priority Programs:
- To abolish all forms of political organization and make everyone equal in social status
- To put all the sinners in rehab
- “Ang gusto ko lang talaga, maputol ang eleksiyon bago umalis ang Ama. Darating siya year 2018, dapat wala nang eleksyon at magkasundo-sundo ang mga tao.”
Campaign: “Wala akong ikakampanya. Ang gusto ng Diyos Ama, stop the election. Nakatakda akong manalo.”
Beliefs: “Ipinanganak muli si Hesu Kristo bilang si Jose Rizal.”
Reason for running: To prevent Lucifer from running in an executive position.
Trike driver seeks to put criminals in Mandaluyong mental hospital
Name: Benecio “Benny” Rufil
Position running for: President
Occupation: Tricycle driver
Platform: Prayer for the Rosary, Honesty is the Best Policy
Party: Independent
Priority program:To put criminals in Mandaluyong’s mental facility
Motto: “Discipline po is the mental attitude and is a seat of training with training obedience of proper conduct stated under recognition, sir!”
Source of confidence: “Nag-prayer po ako to the Lord.”
Reason for running: “Kasi po nagwi-wish ako sa bituin. For president. Three. I love you, the Philippines. I’m to become a president.”
Retired inventor runs for senator, says his age 74 means JESUS
Name: Amado Conbate
Position running for: Senator
Platform: Equality in Economics
Occupation/Credentials: Inventor, Discoverer of Global Economic Equality. “I invented the economic guide, it has the power to revolve nation to nation without economic collision, backed up with my discovered infinite amount and account that is overflowing.”
Campaign funds: He will use the grant given to him by the 28 nations who have used his invention, including Adam Smith.
Running mate: Rodrigo Duterte
Party: Independent
Reason for running: “It is because this is timely. Pagdating ng age na 74, which is the number of Jesus, kumandidato na ako. J = 10 + E = 5 + S = 19 + U = 21 + S = 19 = 74, that is my age today. Matagal na sana ako na-well known. 1977, pagkatapos ng Air Supply [concert], ako ‘yung nag-karera doon sa kanila, pero hindi ako nagyabang.”
On being a nuisance candidate: “I have money, ‘nuysan?’ And I have technology, ‘nuysan?’ Is that question? Because of political consideration you are questioning me? Tao ka ba?”
Marcos’s ex-brigadier general pushes for US annexation of PH
Name: Buenafe Briggs
Position running for: President
Occupation/Credentials: Former presidential brigadier general of President Ferdinand Marcos. “I was, as far as I know, the only Filipino given political asylum in the United States.”
Platform: RP Statehood USA. If elected, he wants the Philippines to become a territory of the United States.
“All of you people, with me, will become American citizens one day. Because while we are Filipinos, we cannot make it as a first world citizen. We cannot make it on our own as a nation because we are small. We have to join the best nation on earth so that our global economy will strengthen. Make your choices because your choice will determine the future, especially you, young people.”
Party: Independent
Running mate: “Still coming through”
Priority program: RP Statehood USA
Campaign funds: OFW remittances
Source of confidence: God
Reason for running:“Because none of you dares to dare the crooks of this government. If none of you, I have to come, because I cannot die with this kind of government we have. I will do something if nobody else will. I am coming. What I say, I stand by.”
Disciple sees Christ’s apparition in Mt. Banahaw, runs for presidency
Name: Maria Tabat
Position running for: President
Occupation/Credentials: A self-confessed disciple; had a face-to-face encounter with God in Mt. Banahaw in 1997.
Platform: To curb mismanagement in the country.“Alam ko na ang problema ng Pilipinas sa kahirapan, nakita ko na. Mismanagement!”
Party: Independent
Reason for running: “Hindi ko ito kagustuhan, it’s my Father’s will. I am his disciple. Ako ang pinili niya.” She claims that God sent her to file a COC through Divine Intervention. “Pinanganak ako sa Pilipinas na pinili niya (God). Talagang face-to-face ko siyang nakita in Mt. Banahaw in 1997.”
Campaign funds: “Wala akong campaign funds, everything I trust to Him. Hindi ako mangangampanya. Talagang it’s His will.”
On being a nuisance candidate: “It’s ok for me as I follow His command.”
Teacher pleads ABS-CBN chair, Noli De Castro to be her running mate
Name: Edna Guillermo
Position running for: President
Occupation: Teacher
Platform: To make honor students mandatory members of the Congress
Party: Independent
Running-mate: Davao City mayor Rodrigo Duterte, Charo Santos-Concio of ABS-CBN, and former vice president Noli De Castro. “Ms. Charo, Mr. De Castro, mag-file na po kayo ng candidacy, ang ating movement, Bagong Pulitika Movement. Pakiusap naman kay Mr. Duterte ‘no, kung may text kayo sa kanya.”
Priority program: Broken Homes. If elected, she will push for the passage of having four (4) family reunions in a year.
Campaign: “Hindi na ako mangangampanya kasi may pulmunya ako. Basta padadala ko by LBC, kay Mr. De Castro, kay Ma’am Charo, kay Bro. Mike Enriquez, o kaya kay Jessica Soho.”
Reason for running: “Pitong taon ko nang pinamimigay ang mga leaflets ko sa snap election namin ni Noynoy [noong 2007] kaya kilala na ako ng lahat.”
Registered nurse plans to make her patients part of her election campaign convoy
Name: Elizabeth Capular
Position running for: President
Occupation/Credentials: Registered nurse, claims to have eight (8) hectares of land
Platforms: Health care, government-paid electricity and water services, food security, special program for media pracitioners
Campaign strategy: “Kapag may kasama akong mga pasyente ko, I accompany them with me.”
Reason for running: “The God Almighty. I have been commissioned by God to help the Filipino people.”
Freelance broker promises free college education
Name: Wilma Maestre
Position running for: President
Occupation: Freelance broker
Platform: Senior Citizens’ Pension and Free College Education
Party: Independent
Campaign message: “Para sa ating mga kababayang Pilipino sa Pilipinas, tulungan niyo po ako, ipagdasal niyo po ako, sapagkat ito po ang pag-asa natin.”
Presidential hopeful’s major platform is ‘wisdom from God’
Name: Ramon Asuela
Position running for: President
Platforms: Wisdom from God, Integrity, Morality, True Service
Party: Independent
Reason for running: “Kapag natupad ang mga ito, magiging corrupt-free ang gobyerno natin.”
